Producing Good "Fruit"

Mommyhood is not for the faint of heart. Sometimes we get so caught up in the day to day that we forget just how important our job really is. We are responsible for raising the next generation. And as dangerous as it is for us to forget that fact, I think sometimes we are most overwhelmed when we remember it.

As we are surveying the seeming chaos around us, the state of the world we live in, and often the state of our immediate surroundings, we suddenly realize the magnitude of our calling and inadequacy sets in. It cripples us. We see the obstacles and think "I can't even get the kids to sit still and eat their dinner, I don't stand a chance in getting them to be productive citizens."

It makes it even worse when we see mothers around us struggling with issues with their children. Our hearts break as a rebellious teenager tramples the heart of a mother that we have admired. We think, "She's a wonderful mother! Far better than me! If her kids went astray, what chance do mine have?" And we worry and we stew and we want to bury our heads in the sand or throw our hands up and surrender the fight for our childrens' hearts because it is too hard and there is too great a chance for hurt.

Lately I have been blessed to have been given a different perspective on these things, and I'd like to share them with you. I recently purchased a book called "Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches." I've added it to my blog store if you'd like to purchase it. It only cost me $6 for the Kindle edition. It's not a very big book. It has very short chapters, easy to read when you just catch a couple of minutes in your day, and the encouragement is wonderful. I highly recommend it! The author of this book brought something to my attention that I had never before considered.

As mothers, and really as believers in general, we are called to bear good "fruit." When we think of the word fruit in Scripture we think of the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Our "fruit" is our offering to God. Our work that we do, day in and day out, completely committed to God. It's doing the very best that we can with what we've been given.

Often, our greatest problem with producing good fruit is that we become obsessed with what happens to that fruit. In "Loving the Little Years," the author explains that fruit trees produce fruit whether or not that fruit ever gets used for anything. It produces the fruit regardless of whether it will all fall to the ground, unappreciated, or if someone lovingly collects it and makes wonderful goodies from it. It's' job is to produce the fruit. Period. She states,

"It's kind of funny to think about, but God does not tell us to necessarily be strategic with our fruit. Will someone check on it every day? Harvest the best to make a pie? Or will there be a junior high kid sweating around among the yellow jackets trying to pick it all up- wishing we were not quite so bountiful? What happens to all of our fruit is not our problem. That doesn't mean we are not to care about the fruit. While it is on our branches, it is our life work. It is an offering to God, and we ought to care intensely about the quality of our fruit. But the branches are our responsiblity; the ground is not."

How freeing is that? God determines what happens to the fruit once it leaves our branches. We are simply to produce the best fruit possible. A fruit tree is judged by the fruit it produces. The fact that the fruit is left on the ground, or made into a cider instead of a pie has no bearing on whether or not the tree is a good tree. If you attempt a new homemaking or business venture and it doesn't go the way you think it should, that doesn't mean you failed. If you offered your best to God, you succeeded. What He, the owner of the tree, decides to do with that fruit is completely up to him. It was only our job to produce it.

In the same way, the things we watch our children struggle with, the horrible choices we see them make, are not our responsiblity. Our children are their own vine, their own tree. They are responsible for the fruit that they produce just as we are. And their fruit production has no bearing on the quality of our tree. We are simply required to faithfully commit to raise them the very best that we can, in a way that is God honoring...to train up a child in the way he should go. We are wrong to consider ourselves failures due to the shortcomings of others...even if those "others" are our children.

But even if some of our fruit isn't being used the way we had hoped, here's a little encouragement from the author of the book.

"But the chances are good that the more fruit you make the more fruit gets used. The more you throw yourself into heavy branches, the more inviting the fruit, and the more inviting the fruit, the more people it is likely to feed.

Some of those apples will fall to the ground and rot. But God uses rotten apples- to fertilize the ground, to start more apple trees after little animals plant them, and just to make the air smell sticky sweet. You cannot know the depth of His plan for your fruit. So throw it out there on the ground when you have no plan for its future. Waste it. Waste homemade pasta and the mess it makes on your family. Don't save cloth napkins for company only- sew a dress your daughter doesn't really need. Be bountiful with your fruit, and free with it. The only thing you can know for certain is that God will use it."

Now, this little life lesson was made even sweeter for me by our Sunday School class this week. Pastor John talked about how in the Psalms we are refered to as trees, planted by the streams, fed by the Law of the Lord. Only good trees produce good fruit. A withering tree produces nothing of value. So bury yourself in the Word, momma. It's your life-source and the only way you have any chance of producing the quality fruit that will feed the masses and be used by the Master. Take in the breath of God, and use it to create the most wonderful, bountiful fruit you can...then let go...and let God decide how he will use your fruit.

Leaving Our Legacy

I don't usually discuss politics in this blog unless it's relating to something else. I try to just stay away from it altogether on here, simply put- because it tends to alienate people. People automatically assume you are a certain kind of person based on your political affiliation. I want this blog to be helpful, encouraging, edifying. Not a sounding board for politics.

However, with the current events that have been unfolding with this shooting in Tuscon, I think it's important, and I'll explain why in a minute. First, I want to be completely upfront. That way those who are going to shut me off because of my beliefs can do so without wasting their time by continuing to read. I am a 26 year old female conservative. I am not a republican. I am not a democrat. I am an independant and always vote according to issue and candidate. Always. However, I am both a social and fiscal conservative.

I'd like to think I'm a fairly easy person to get along with. I'm a mother of three...soon to be four. I have a bachelor's degree in Communication. I grew up blue collar, married white collar and can relate to just about anybody. I love my God, my family and my country. So that pretty much sums me up.

When elections rolled around last November, I was only too happy to get out and vote for individuals that I thought would actually represent me. Last time I checked, that was the whole point of democracy. I don't care if the person who is elected is white, female, or young...I don't care if they LOOK like me...I just want them to represent my values and defend the things that are important to me.

When Gabrielle Giffords and several other individuals were shot this past weekend, I was stunned. Just like everyone else in America. Then, sadly, I turned to my husband and said, "How long do you think it will take for conservatives to start getting blamed?" As it turned out, it had already started. They didn't even wait for the dust to settle. They didn't have any idea who the guy was who had done this or what his motives were. It didn't matter. It was an opportunity to push an agenda. "It's all those crazy right wing conservative's fault...obviously since it was a democrat who was shot."

The ignorance in making statements like these while completely uninformed is profound. A wounded group of politicians with a vicious hatred for an empowered right was only too happy to begin mudslinging in an attempt to "not let a crisis go to waste."

We later find out that the man was a wacko. Just plain and simple- a wacko. He was not a right-wing conservative. In fact, quite the opposite. He was a "philosophy" junkie. He was probably further left than Gabrielle Giffords in all actuality. But regardless of his political affiliation, there is NO evidence that politics had ANY part in his motive. His friends have said he never watched TV, he never listened to talk radio. So why the accusations against these media outlets? The man had a personal issue with Ms. Giffords. And he was mentally disturbed. The end.

Is it devestating? Yes. Tragic? Yes. A reason for the country to get all up at arms over right vs. left? No. Not even close. At a time when the country should be uniting to support these families, instead they're trying to pass new policies, "remake" the President, show Barack Obama's "magic" as one reporter referred to it. The American people are sick to death of the game playing and name calling. You can be passionately for or against something without inciting violence or doing anyone any harm whatsoever.

Obviously those who are leading America are unable to do so without acting like a bunch of junior highers. Was it wrong for people to come out right after the incident and baselessly blame the right? Yes. Was it wrong for the right to get caught up in defending themselves (as if it matters, they already hate you, you're not going to convince them otherwise) and play the politics game? Yes. Is it absolutely ludicrous that those who are accusing the right of inciting violence with their vitriol are making death threats to those individuals? Hypocrisy that boggles the mind. 

Here's where I stand. I'm a mom. A mom lost her nine year old little girl that day. She let her go to a political rally because the little girl loved politics. She had just gotten elected to student government in her third grade class. What a precious, smart, wonderful little life that was needlessly snuffed out by a lunatic. From what I can see, families who lost loved ones in that accident did just that. Lost loved ones. They need love. They need support. They need to be able to grieve. They need someone to come alongside them, to show them that the nation mourns with them.

When I've lost loved ones, I didn't need a pep rally. I didn't need a Presidential Cabinet Member reading a piece of Scripture. I didn't need more controversy in my life. And I'm pretty sure they don't either. It's time to step away from the political fray and be human for awhile. We're all just human. We all hurt, we all bleed the same. It could have been any one of us. I hope that we can all be a little more compassionate toward one another. Especially those who have lost so much in this.

As mommas, let's try to look deeper this year. Let's try to meet people where they are, instead of talking about them as if they're a number. Because a whole crew of mommas is a lot more powerful than congress could ever hope to be. The government doesn't get to determine the kind of country our kids grow up in...we do. We are raising the next generation of leaders who can either see a need and meet it, or pass the buck in favor of personal gain. Our children are watching us. They're watching how we react to these and all other situations.

For instance, when I was a child I knew my parents were not fans of the current welfare system. They thought it inspired people to do absolutely nothing with their lives. According to some, that would make them calloused and uncaring. And perhaps, had they done things differently, someone could have convinced me that they were. But I knew better. I had seen over and over when my parents had helped someone who truely needed it. I distinctly remember sitting in a Pizza Hut on a Friday night. It was near closing time and a homeless man came into the restraunt to ask for the food they would be throwing away. They told him they didn't have anything, and he quietly left. Without saying a word, my dad packed up the rest of our pizza and followed the man out the door. That moment of watching my dad hand that pizza box to that homeless man was a make or break moment in my life. I saw compassion in action. No, it wasn't a big gesture. It didn't have to be. My father saw a need and he filled it, and I've been trying to do the same my whole life.

That's what we're supposed to be doing. Leading by example. If we start taking care of each other, meeting the needs of those in our communities and our nation- all the while pointing to the God who enables us to love extravegantly, we'll be on our way to rewriting history for our children's children. Throughout the year as I see a need arise, I'll let you know on here and we can do our best to meet that need together. I won't be equipped to meet every need. You may be better fit to do some things. But for goodness sakes, Mommas, we have a legacy to write. Let's get going.

Mommyhood: Train up a Child

You know the child. You can probably think of three off the top of your head. The one who runs the show. They get absolutely everything their little heart desires. They wouldn't have any idea what to do if someone actually told them no, as evidenced by the screaming fit they break into if someone even hesitates in fulfilling their demands. No one likes being around these children. And you aren't doing your child any favors by allowing them to behave that way.

Here's a "dirty laundry" moment for you. We have been known to avoid some people and situations simply because we can't bear the thought of having to be around a child that we know will be there. A disobedient, disrespectful, obnoxious child is like a case of chicken pox...agonizing and something you want to avoid at all costs.

We all know that, but doing something about it seems difficult. We don't want to squelch the poor little dear's creativity or spirit, right? That's what the "experts" say. Society says give your child what they want, let them be kids. We want them to "experience" all the "fun" things in life. And I'm all for that. I do my best to delight my children as much as possible. I want to make precious memories with them. But I'm noticing that so many people who are raising children nowadays are doing just that...raising children...20 year old children, 30 year old children, 40 year old children. I want my children to enjoy childhood, but I'm not trying to raise a "good kid", I'm trying to raise responsible adults.

I've talked in this blog before about giving children responsibility, but let's talk about child training a minute.  I read a book recently that put the Biblical command to "train up a child in the way he should go" into a whole different light for me. Training is not synonymous with discipline. Training is something that should be an every day thing. You can't expect a child to obey if you've never made them obey, if you've never trained them to obey.

Train for action. Discipline for attitude. Obeying with a bad attitude is just as bad as disobeying. I've seen 2 year olds with more attitude than a 50 year old mob boss. Stay after your kid's hearts. They may not get things right all the time, but if they're genuinely trying, don't discipline them. Just gently correct. You don't want to discourage a good attitude. This is especially important when you have small children. They're just learning boundaries, authority, etc.

Instant obedience is something we're constantly working on around here. Some think that it's over the top or some kind of "authoritarian parenting" that requires a child to obey instantly. I disagree. All children should be required to obey immediately, no matter what the reason. One of the phrases I hated most as a teenager was "because I said so." I always thought that shouldn't be a good enough reason. But that attitude showed a disrespect for authority and a lack of trust that my parents wanted what was best for me. And it's impossible for a disrespectful or distrusting attitude to inhabit one area of your life without seeping its way into another.

When our children are small, instant obedience may be a safety issue. If you tell your child "STOP" when they're about to run out into traffic, you have to know that they will immediately stop. You don't have time to explain why it's in their best interest to stop. They just have to obey.

But perhaps the most important reason for demanding instant obedience from our children is because, to small children, we are the example of authority in their lives, and their view of authority will translate into the way they view the authority of God. Instant obedience isn't only a trait that children should possess, but also adult believers. Sometimes God tells us to do something and we have a really great argument for why we might have a better way. We don't understand why He's telling us to do something. But we need to obey, regardless of the reasoning. Do you trust your God enough to obey and know that He's acting in your best interest? Do you want your child to trust you enough to do them same? Train them to trust you.

I've been told before that it's unbelieveable that I can take three little ones under four to the store and accomplish my shopping. I can't understand how anyone can stand to be stuck at home because they have small children that they can't take out in public. My kids know they have to stay right with me. They don't run around the store, because they've never been permitted to. Once or twice early on in their "walking" years they'd wander down an aisle. I would stop, make them come back and put their hand back on the cart. Yep, those trips took a little longer then. Now they know exactly what's expected of them, and they don't usually give me any trouble.

Now, they aren't angel children. When people ask me if my kids are always "that good" I tell them, "no, but neither am I." Aren't we all a work in progress? It's unfair to discipline a child who doesn't know what's expected of them. It's even more unfair not to discipline or train a child at all. Our goal is not to raise a "happy child", but a responsible and content adult.

I'm certainly no expert in parenting. I can only make opinion based on my beliefs and my experience. What are your biggest child-rearing difficulties? Any advice you'd like to share that you've learned in your parenting or child care experience? There's a whole lot of mommas out there who'd love to have a bit of encouragement, so do share! Mine would be to delight your children, let them be children, but don't write bad behavior off as "being a child". Correct it consistently and see if you don't enjoy being with your children a whole lot more. :)

Teaching Little Ones Responsibility

When people see me out and about, generally I get a look that says, "Oh, you poor thing." Yes, having three children under 4 is a lot of work, but I think many people in today's society expect so little of small children that the thought of having several is far more overwhelming than it should be. 

In general, our children are capable of far more responsibility than we give them credit for. Not only that, but having responsibility is good for them. They often even enjoy feeling as if they are contributing in some way. 

In our home, we use the chore pack system. Our kids (the older two, obviously) have a few chores they do at different times during the day. The chores are put on little cards and are represented by pictures since they an't old enough to read. They clip a clear pouch onto their clothes and as they finish one chore they move that card to the back of the pouch and start the next chore. 

Before you go thinking I'm a slave driver to make my 2 and 4 year olds do chores a few times a day, let me say that my kids LOVE doing their chore packs. They beg to do them. Also, it makes their behavior much better. 

For example- bedtime. If we stray from our routine our children run around like monkeys escaped from the zoo. We tell them it's time for bed and the tears ensue. By the time we actually wrangle them into bed and collapse on the couch, the house is trashed and we are fried. 

Now, if we stick to our routine our night goes something like this. Things start to get a little crazy, we see it's time for bed and tell them they have 15 minutes until we do chore packs. Telling them we're going to do chore packs, not go to bed makes for no arguments. They play for a bit, then get their chores packs. Since they are so small, Daddy helps one of them and Mommy helps the other. 

Kaytie starts by picking up the great room. Kai starts by picking up the sunroom. They love to see how quick they can get it done, so Mommy and Daddy do quality control. Haha. 

Then they clean up their rooms, put on their pajamas, brush their teeth, then head into the great room with whichever parent has them to do their devotions. Once they've finished their devotions we read a story and they go to bed without argument because it's the way they finish their chore pack. 

We've got a house that's picked up, the kids have gotten some one on one time with us, they've had a story and now everyone gets to end the night on a happy note. And as an added bonus we've taught our children responsibility, to take care of their things, to see a job through to completion. 

Feeling like they have jobs to do throughout the day keeps them out of trouble and gives Mommy some much needed help and structure. Also, when we first had Kaesen, we were still using one diaper bag. I was sure that was the easiest way, since I definitely didn't want to carry three different bags. 

Then I got a teeny bit smarter. I made the older two their own bag with their name on it. This bag is theirs. It stays in their room and is their responsibility when we leave the house. I make sure there's a change of clothes in each of them and a pull-up in Kaytie's. Otherwise, anything they want to take with them when they leave the house is their responsibility. This eliminated negotiations for taking toys when we went places, made the diaper bag lighter, and made it far easier to find what I needed when I needed it. Also when we're out somewhere and someone needs to go potty, another needs a diaper change, we're not trying to divvy up supplies- everyone has their own bag. I can't tell you how many headaches this has saved. 

In much the same way each child has a bucket that's kept in their room. When they want to take toys out of their room to play in another room in the house, they put the toys in their bucket and take it with them. When it's time for naps or bedtime, they put their toys back in their bucket and take it back to their room. 

Just adding little bits of responsibility to our children's lives makes living with them far easier and sets them on the right road to being responsible adults. How do you teach your kids responsibility?

Delighting Our Children This Christmas Season

As mommies, every day we live is a moment that has the power to make the memories that our children will look back on when they are grown. This is perhaps never more true than at the holidays. We can create amazing "childhood memories" for our sweet babies just by taking the time to do some special little things. Here are a few ideas to get you thinking.

Make a few special traditions. For instance, we have a lasagna dinner every Christmas Eve. We also do one of those countdown calendars with the chocolates for each day. I bought the kind that pull out like little drawers so that we can use the same one each year, I just refill the chocolates.

Get a gift for a someone less fortunate. Have your kids donate some of their old toys to make room for the new ones. Listen to a certain music while you decorate the tree. Read the Christmas story together every year. Celebrate Advent. Go to a candlelight service on Christmas Eve.

If you allow Santa at your house, make cookies and leave them- but let your kids bake the cookies and decorate them. Leave an apple for the reindeer. Leave signs all around the house that Santa has been there and watch their eyes sparkle. Eat the cookies, nibble on the apple, use skis or sticks in the snow to look like sleigh tracks. Leave a Santa hat, maybe with a little soot on it where the kids can find it. Have Santa write them a note back thanking them for the cookies.

The Santa we took the kids to see this year actually tied the Santa side of Christmas to the Gospel side. He told our kids that what he needed them to do was to love because love was the whole reason for Christmas. God loved us so much that he sent Jesus. It was awesome.

Get a child friendly nativity that your children can play with and reenact the story over and over. Put on a play of the Christmas story. Watch fun holiday movies. Put a trail of candies from your child's bed to the tree Christmas morning. Make a gingerbread house. Put a candy cane on their pillow. Use Elf on a Shelf.

If you have kids that are old enough to try to peek into their packages or shake them, etc. don't label them. Give each person their own color and label them with only the color and don't tell them the code. They won't know which ones to shake.

Make an uneventful December evening magical by putting your kids to bed then popping popcorn, making a thermos of hot chocolate, waking them and taking them to the car still in their jammies. Wrap them up in blankets, turn on some Christmas music, serve your treats and drive around looking at Christmas lights.

These are just a few ideas to get you thinking. When your child is grown and their children ask what they remember most about Christmas, make sure they have amazing memories to share because today is a moment in a future adult's childhood and it's these little moments that shape our child's view of faith, love, family and tradition.

Laugh hysterically at the little one covered in icing. Enjoy the tree that's decorated a bit lopsided. Soak in the looks of wonder, the sleepy smiles. And for goodness sakes take pictures!

Invisible Mom

 
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of
response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while
I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm
thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking,
or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the
corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The
invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing
more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being.
I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to
answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order,
'Right around 5:30, please.'

Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's
my phone?, What's for dinner?'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and
the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now,
they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen
again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the
return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from
a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she
stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all
put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry
for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me
with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you
this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .
I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her
inscription:'With admiration for the greatness of what you are
building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devoured - the book. And I
would discover what would become for me, four life-changing
truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say
who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their
names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they
would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and
expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled
by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to
visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a
workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was
puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time
carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof,
No one will ever see it And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It
was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see
the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no
cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute
errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are
building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it
will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great
builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they
will never see finished, to work on something that their name
will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals
could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few
people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the
friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom
gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then
she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens
for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself.
I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is
anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love
it there...'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen
if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that
the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at
the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of
invisible mothers.

Great Job, Mom!

(This was sent to me by a dear friend. It was exactly what I needed so I thought I'd share. Hope it blesses you as much as it did me.)

Framing My Dirty Laundry

Ah, dirty laundry. We all have it. It sits in piles and lurks in dark closets. It hides away from public scrutiny and makes us feel overwhelmed and just generally lousy. It tends to taunt us. It's never ending, never goes away and therefore always makes us feel as though we don't quite have it all together, that our work is never quite accomplished and that we've failed somehow to do our job.

But dirty laundry is there for a reason. It's there because life is happening. It is not a sign of our failure to subdue it, but rather of our continued blessing and growth. I know I go through a ton of laundry in our house because I have a husband and three little ones (one of whom still spits up on himself on a regular basis and is in cloth diapers). My dirty laundry is a sign that I have been blessed and that life has been lived in those clothes.

Here's a laundry room epiphany for you. We all have dirty laundry in a figurative way too. You know, those things that people don't readily see. Things that keep you from appearing to have it all together. Maybe you don't talk about it because it makes you feel shame. Maybe you just don't talk about it because you prefer to focus on the "nicer" things about yourself. And I'm not for any second suggesting you tear yourself apart, much less in public. However, here's something to consider.

In the past few months I have had many people ask me how on earth I have it all together. How do I do all that I do. I've even been called "supermom". If for one second you have thought that I have it all together, please let me ephatically state that this is incredibly untrue! I don't intend to decieve anyone, but I suppose it's only human nature to not immediatly discuss your shortcomings.

However, just as with literal dirty laundry, our figurative dirty laundry serves a purpose as well. Our shortcomings, failures, shame are all a sign of life happening. There isn't a single one of us who doesn't have it. We are continually stumbling, failing, picking ourselves back up, dusting ourselves off just in time to fall flat on our faces again. But each time we fall and pick ourselves back up, we've learned. We've lived one more day of life. We've gained a bit more experience and we're a bit more valuable to the world around us.

This is because God is shown most powerfully in our weaknesses. When we see our "dirty laundry" for what it truely is, a sign of life- a blessing of another day lived and experienced, we are able to better understand God's grace to us in saving us and continually making us more like Him through our struggles.

If we hug our struggles to save ourselves embarrasment we are cheating others and ourselves. For instance, I struggle with getting up in the morning. I am NOT a morning person. I have the best of intentions. I give myself incentives to get up early. I KNOW that it makes life far easier when I do get up early. I know that I could get a lot more accomplished if I started earlier in the day. I have tried different routines, different tactics to pursuade myself to get up. Nothing doing. I hate it.

Oh, the agony of the proverbs about the dangers of sleeping in. Now, mind you, I don't often get to sleep IN. But oh how I want to! There are mornings that I drag myself out of bed only to spend the entire morning looking for an opportunity for a nap, or daydreaming about bedtime. What an awful way to waste your life!
Sometimes I am just downright lazy. I just don't want to put forth the effort to finish cleaning before bed. I'm too tired to workout. My bed is too warm and cozy to put my feet on the floor and make a good breakfast for my family.

Yes, I'm getting better, a little at a time. But only because of God's conviction in my life and my desire to perform my duties to the best of my ability-to bless my family and glorify my God. This desire is the only thing that can possibly drag my sorry rear end out of bed in the morning.

Now, you've seen a teensy tiny portion of my dirty laundry. And chances are, someone reading this also has the same stinking pile in their own closet. Maybe they're seeing getting up early differently since reading about my struggle. Maybe they're seeing some hope. Or maybe they're way past me in overcoming their laundry pile. Maybe they have some valuable insight into conquering my sleepies and would like to share. Or maybe we can just encourage each other in our fight against supercomfybed-itis.

So in hopes of sharing the way that God is working in my life, I will attempt to reveal a piece of my dirty laundry every so often. It won't be easy. No one likes to put themselves out there or make themselves vulnerable. But I truely believe that I'm not the only person in the world that has things they wrestle with. Your struggles may be different from mine, but they are there just the same. Sure some people may think less of me, but that's alright. If you find me to be undeserving of your admiration, respect, love, friendship- at least find my God to be loving, merciful and all the more amazing for His willingness to redeem me. After all, my life is nothing if not in Him.
So if it means His glory, I will frame my dirty laundry and hang it on the wall. May all who see it see the mercy and grace of Him who saved me and sanctifies me a bit more each day.

Easy menu planning

So for the past couple of weeks we've been using e-mealz. I am honestly soooo skeptical about things like this because my family is insanely picky. I always liked the idea of having a ready made "menu plan" but it just didn't seem realistic. However, this one is different and here's why.

When you sign up, you receive several options of menu plans. You can choose ones for families or couples. You also can choose certain kinds of menus such as Weight Watchers compatible and menus for those who can't have certain kinds of foods. You can also choose your meal plan based on which store you typically shop at.

They then make a menu for you based on what deals are going on at your store that week. You get a dinner menu for each night of the week with a list of ingredients and recipes for each item you'll make. Then you also get a grocery list, with items grouped by category for easy shopping and the approximate prices so you can see how it will work for your budget. For my family (four eating table food) the approximate cost according to them is $75/ week for your groceries.

Now, let me tell you why this one works for my family. I am a couponer. I do most of my shopping with coupons and stock up when things are on sale. So to be completely honest, I don't need to spend the $75 that they plan for because I already have many of the items needed which I purchased at a discounted price. Also, they only include dinner which gives me so much flexability because we can have leftovers for lunch or sandwiches and we usually have simple breakfasts. So I don't have to follow a rigorous schedule to stay in my budget.

Now, about the pickiness. No, we do not eat every meal that they recommend. BUT, this is another area that e-mealz is amazing in! On your grocery list, they list which meal each item belongs to. So if you aren't going to use a certain meal, you don't have to go through and try to figure out which things you don't need. You just scratch off anything that has the number of the meal you aren't using. So easy!

And I've found that although my family wouldn't eat a dish exactly as they would have me prepare it, I can tweak the recipe a tiny bit and make it something my family would love. Best of all, I didn't have to worry with the menu for the week, or the grocery list. I know I have something planned for each night. I know I have all that I need to make each meal. AND I have freed up my time used for grocery planning to get better deals with my coupons. ;-)

Best of all, it's only a $1.25 per week. SOOOO worth it when you figure that not only are you not having to really think about what to buy, but you know you're only buying what you're going to use and your food isn't going to waste because something looked good, but you never got around to cooking it. Frugal indeed.

If you're interested in seeing what e-mealz is all about click on the button below. (yes, I get moolah if you do- full disclosure here.) But honestly, I'd recommend it even if I didn't. One less thing for the mommy brain to worry about. Because quite frankly, you've got better things to do and let's face it, mac n cheese is only good so many nights in a row. :)

Loving my Blessings...

Yesterday I woke with a horrible toothache. I had broken one of my wisdom teeth and had to go to the dentist. I needed to do it a long time ago, but I find that I have a tendency to succomb to "mommy syndrome" and push myself further and further down the list of important things to take care of. Long story short, I'll be having the tooth removed next Tuesday.
When I went into the dentist office yesterday morning, the assistant asked about my family. I told her I had three children under 3. Her response "Oh my goodness, you're a crazy woman!" When the dentist found out that I had a baby (and was still nursing so I wouldn't be able to take the pain killers post-surgery) he told me that he thought I would probably be alright to take care of my baby after the surgery. When the nurse told him how MANY babies I had, he changed his mind and told me I would probably need help.
I would just like to know when babies became such a burden to our society. I LOVE my babies. I LOVE having three babies. NO, we have not decided that we are "done". Lord willing there will be more babies. All throughout history children were a blessing, a gift, a thing to be desired. Now, in our society we have "better things to do" and babies get in the way of our "goals and accomplishments/careers."
Yes, I suppose by today's standards I'm crazy. I'm totally OK with that. I wouldn't trade my babies and ALL the work that comes with them for anything! I adore them! Our children are God's gift to us and He has entrusted them to our care. This is the greatest of all "occupations" and one that has eternal impact. Yes, as I am reminded every time I leave the house by well-meaning passerby, I have my hands full. I have my heart full, too. I hope that I can show my children that they are NOT a burden to me. They are my most precious gifts. My most valued treasures. And the God who gave them to me loves them enough that He thought them worth dying for. That's my job...and it's the job that I love. I don't have a "life to get on with" when I'm "done" having kids. This IS my life. And I can't think of a better way to spend it.

My beautiful 2 year old, having a tea party with Daddy

My amazing 3 year old

My precious (almost) 6 month old

My couch-full of blessings.

Please stop whining...

It seems to be every mother's plea. Please stop whining. Few things can irritate so deeply as the whine of a child...except perhaps, the whine of an adult. So many times we parents whine at our children to stop whining. We whine that we're tired of waiting on them hand and foot. We whine that we have so much laundry to do, or so many bills to pay, or so many errands to run. Whine, whine, whine. How hypocritical and confusing to show a child that it's ok for us to whine about having wash dishes, but not ok for them to whine about cleaning their room. Or that it's ok for us to whine about having to make dinner, but not for them to whine about having to eat dinner!

We whine about having to visit a sick relative, or of having too many places to be, or of being involved in too many ministries. About how we don't have enough time for ourselves because of all our "obligations and responsiblities". We whine so much that we don't even realize we're whining.

It seems that so much of the time we lose sight of the gratitude that should drive us in our actions throughout even the longest of days. We forget that we have so much laundry to do because we have so many clothes. And that we have so many clothes because we have children and a spouse and the money to keep them clothed. Instead of being thankful for the children and the clothing we've been able to provide for them, we grumble about the laundry. We forget that when we have to make dinner, it's because we have families to feed, and the ability to feed them. It's a gift.

Throughout the past year I've tried so hard to view my children through the eyes of gratitude, and you wouldn't believe the difference. Before, when I would take my son to the store and he would throw a fit, I would try to leave as quickly as possible, and quite possibly be in tears by the time the ordeal was over. Now, when they're being difficult, I can take a deep breath, smile, kiss them and tell them that I love them no matter what and be thankful, because I could be sitting by a hospital bed at St. Jude's wishing my baby was well enough to throw a fit at the store.

We have been given so many incredible gifts...all of us. Even those who seem to have so little can find something to be thankful for. And if we live a life of gratitude, we improve our own quality of life, as well as setting a wonderful and consistent example for our children. And what a wonderful thing to teach your child, that you love them and are thankful for them even when they're being the most difficult. Practice now, we'll need it to be habit when they're teenagers. =)

Just Another Day In Paradise...

I love my life. Seriously, I can't even begin to put into words just how much I love my life. I am so thankful for all the things the Lord has blessed me with. I'm so thankful for my amazing parents and their amazing parents that gave me such a wonderful start in life. I'm so thankful for my in-laws, because they did a terrific job raising their son and he makes a wonderful husband! I have lived an incredible life. I have a ton of awesome friends...most people would give anything just to have one or two of these people as friends. I am so blessed to have so many people to laugh with me, cry with me, share in my pain, excitement, anger, happiness and to catch me when I fall. I fell in love with the most incredible man, and he loved me back. I have a love story out of a movie. I had my fairy tale wedding. I live in a beautiful home in a beautiful neighborhood. I am blessed to not have to work, so I can spend more time working on our organization and helping hundreds of people. I have the most precious and beautiful little boy on the planet. My incredible husband turned into an incredible daddy as well. I get to watch the two of them playing together every night. The way Kai watches daddy get ready in the mirror in the morning, and the way daddy gives him just a little bit of his cologne. I love that even after nearly three years, my husband still calls every day...he still kisses me goodbye every morning...he still makes me laugh til my sides hurt. I love my family...I love the person I've become. Especially the last few months. The last few months have been so amazing. So much has happened and life has been rather hectic, but for the first time I have been able to let go of everything in the past, stop worrying about everything in the future and be the very best that I can be right now. I absolutely could not be happier. I'm so proud of my beautiful little family and everything that I've accomplished, only by the grace of God. We have so much coming up in the next few months and I just can't wait! I can't wait to road trip for our anniversary. I can't wait to be home with everyone for thanksgiving. I can't wait til Kai's first birthday party (ok...i can wait for that...he's growing up too fast). I can't wait til Christmas and California. I'm so glad that I have a life that's something to be proud of. I'm so glad I don't have to sneak around hoping people don't figure out what I'm doing. I'm so thankful I have parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and a husband who are proud of me. Last night we were laying in bed and Ward said..."wait I heard a song today and I thought of you, I want to go put it on my myspace." haha. So he got up out of bed and found it to post it. How many husbands would do that? It makes me feel so special that he wants the whole world to see just how wonderful what we have really is. I'm also very thankful for my friends' husbands. Nearly all of them have been so wonderful to my girls. And I've gained so many "new" friends when my friends got married. We are blessed to be given another day to love and learn and chase our dreams. But in all honesty, I've stopped chasing my dreams...because I'm living them...so I think now I'll just slow down and enjoy the ride.

The Power of Words

Life's been a bit crazy lately. This past week has been especially difficult in the Schweitzer household. Last weekend we were in Decatur. There is so much going on with our families that it never seems to be the relaxing time that it used to be. We did get to have both of our families for dinner together Sunday after church, so that was nice. Even as turmoil swirls around our families, the stability and solid foundation we have always had in our parents has stayed strong. We both have such admirable parents. I hope that we can be even half as wonderful as parents as they have been.
We ended up staying in Decatur until Monday morning, then I dropped Ward off at work on my way home. Fairly early in the afternoon, he called to say that he thought he was sick and that he was going to come home early. By Tuesday morning, he had caught whatever it was full force. He called in sick and I tried to work around him and keep Kai occupied while taking care of Ward. He wasn't much better on Wednesday and ended up working from home. That was even more difficult. Trying to get everything done and keep Kai out of his hair. He finally thought he was feeling better Wednesday night, then Kai woke up in the night with a runny nose. The next day Ward went back to work and left me with a sick little boy.
Kai had a runny nose and slight fever on Thursday, then Thursday night he didn't sleep...at all. I was up all night with him. I was exhausted, he was exhausted. His fever just kept going up and up, no matter how much Tylonol I gave him. After two days of not wanting to eat and not sleeping, I took him to the doctor. He had 102.3 degree fever. The doctor said that it would just have to pass, and that I was doing everything right and it should be over soon.
So I went back home Friday afternoon, slightly discouraged because my parents were coming down that night for Boeing's family day on Saturday. If Kai was still running a fever, he couldn't go. I was disappointed. So Kai and I spent the evening dancing by candlelight to Norah Jones in the great room. Daddy joined us for a few dances until Kai get real sleepy. He stayed awake long enough to see Mamaw and Papa, then went to bed. My parents offered to get up with him since we hadn't had any sleep, but he ended up sleeping until after 7! It was wonderful. He got up, ate and went back to bed for a few hours. And the best part, was that his fever had broken! He was acting more like himself, eating and getting into everything.
We spent all day yesterday at Boeing, touring assembly lines and seeing the bomb facility. It had been three years since I had been, so it was exciting to see all the advances. Especially the bomb facility, I hadn't been there before, it was amazing. My dad afterward said that it was very sobering to think that Ward worked there. People just think he has an easy desk job, but it's a fairly precarious position to be in. I think it really sank in to them the seriousness of it all when Ward said it was one of the reasons he'd moved his family outside the "blast zone".
You just don't think about those sorts of things happening. But they could. People wonder why we pay so much attention to politics and world news and why we care so much...they just don't understand. Military families understand. But most of the rest of America has no clue. They don't understand the risks involved. Once again, I was so proud walking through those buildings of my husband and everything he does to protect those brave men and women who defend our nation.
When the day was over (after a brief visit to babies r us and cabelas) we were all tired. We ate at Red Robin then headed home. Just before we got ready for bed I told them that I was starting to not feel very well. Sure enough, I was up in the night...and by this morning I had a fever over 100 degrees and was sick as could be. It was miserable. I feel somewhat better now, just have to keep pumping in the medicine as often as possible. I don't have time to be sick. I have way too much to do this week and my in-laws and niece and nephew will be here Friday. So much to do. So the week was fairly stressful, but I did get to feel a sense of accomplishment. Time and time again recently I've been faced with tough situations and time and time again, I've discovered that I'm stronger than I thought I was.
My husband told me the other day that he has no idea how I do it. He just doesn't know how I keep everything running so smoothly. I told him that I didn't think I did all that great of a job and he laughed at me and said I was a ridiculous perfectionist. haha. That may be true. I do try so hard to do the very best that I can for my family. I know that it would be acceptable for me to not accomplish much, for our house to be a wreck, for us to eat carry out every night. I don't think my husband would complain at all after seeing how hard Kai is to keep up with, and all the other responsiblities I have. But I can't live that way. I want a clean, organized house. I want to know my baby is eating the best stuff possible. I want to know that there's good food in the refrigerator and my husband has something good to come home to at night. It's a lot of work and sometimes the task seems overwhelming, but there are moments that make it completely worth it.
Like when Ward comes home and raves about something I cooked and how he can't wait to have the leftovers tomorrow. Or when he talks about the guys at the office going on and on about how they can't believe his wife would send a pie to work that was still warm from the oven since she baked it that morning. Or to overhear someone say that they think I'm a wonderful mother, even if it doesn't always feel like it to me. Or to have a new doctor that I've never met come in and say, "wait...you just had a baby 10 months ago??? no way! you're in great shape!" Or to have my mom (the ultimate cleaning perfectionist) come into my house this weekend and say "How on earth is your house so clean when you have a sick baby!"
It's amazing the way our words hold so much power. The way a single encouraging comment like that can make everything worthwhile. We've felt the same feeling in our organization lately. We've been swamped making blankets and trying desperately to complete this cookbook. Sometimes it seems like it's just too much. Then there's the precious couple at the cancer center who talk about how much they love the blanket they got and how they use it all the time...and how their grandkids love it so much that they'll turn the fans on when it's hot so they can use it. Or the thank-you notes from people who've been given less than a year to live, but want to help make more blankets because theirs means so much to them. And then you realize that what you're doing is making a difference. That it is important. That it's worth doing.
Words may not seem like much but they can give us the strength we need to keep on keeping on. In fact, words (especially Scripture) are at times all that can keep us holding on.

on growing up

It happens to all of us. Sure we may stay "children at heart" but at some point, at least outwardly, we all should have to grow up. Not everyone does. These people are usually people who live off of those of us who have grown up, complain because they don't have enough and people aren't giving them enough, refuse to take responsibility for their actions, and just generally annoy the rest of the population.

However, for the majority of us, growing up is a process and a journey that we will all eventually take. When you're a baby, you aren't responsible for your actions, or for anything really. As I said, some people stay this way, completely dependant on other people to survive. But most of us grow up to be toddlers. We start understanding "right" from "wrong" and become responsible for doing the "right" thing. We start to see some consequences for both our right and wrong actions. If we do something bad, we're punished. If we do something good, we're rewarded.

Then we get older. We go to school. We have to start thinking about other people. We learn what things we do make people happy and what things make people sad. We learn how other people and their feelings are also important.

We get to jr. high or high school and we start more in-depth interpersonal relationships. We form "groups" of friends. We set certain standards for people whom we will associate with. We begin to realize that the opposite sex is not the same as us, and in most situations, the dating game begins. Unfortunately some of us didn't learn that grade school lesson about other people's feelings, and will cause a lot of damage to other people during these "dating game" years. We also start to really care about what others think of us, leading some to develop horrible self-esteem which often leads either to depression, or incredible arrogance problems due to their insecurites.

Also in high school, we start to realize that most (not all) of us will be expected to move out of our parents' home. We're expected to go to college. When that day comes, we say goodbye to the familiarity of everything we've known, the friends we've been in school with for years sometimes, and we head off to college, where no one is telling us what we should or shouldn't do. It's more freedom than many people can handle all at once. They go crazy doing everything they know they shouldn't. This is frowned upon by most of our older, more mature counterparts (many of whom never had this college experience)...and they're right in one sense. Unless you're confident in who you are, and you have a certain set of standards that you adhere to even in your wilder days, you will inevitably find yourself in a whole heap of trouble. Some of us fail classes, some of us get kicked out of school completely, some of us do irreperable damage to our futures by making it so that we cannot get a good job because of a "criminal record", some of us end up starting families long before we're ready to, some of us get married, then divorced all within that four years. But if nothing else, you learn...you learn that it's not just your parents who dole out consequences for your actions...life inevitably has consequences. You're responsible for being a responsible person...just because you're parents aren't there doesn't mean you can do whatever you want without any consequences. You will end up hurting yourself or another person. At any rate, whatever your experience, we all end up making mistakes and we all end up learning valuable lessons. If you survive your college years with reputation intact and relatively unscathed, consider yourself fortunate.

The next big "growing up" experience is usually getting a job. Now you're back to being accountable to someone else. No one else is paying your bills for you (unless you're getting government handouts to sit on your butt watching tv all day...there's consequences for that too, but that's another issue altogether). You are responsible for making a living, providing for yourself. In order to survive, you have to play by the rules...but you're basically only accountable to God and your boss. Yet, for some people...this is the phase in life where they truely grow up. Some people, still have a ways to go.

Then you get married. Getting married is a point where many people grow up. They start to realize that their actions now directly affect another person. If they mess up, it makes the other person look bad as well. If they act irresponsibly and continue to run around having extramarital relationships, they are not only responsible for the demise of their marriage, and their reputation, they are also responsible for the devestation that would be caused to the other person. If you get mad and quit your job, you are now responsible for two people, not just yourself. Nearly every decision you make impacts your spouse. Now is a great time to grow up. To stop running around bars every weekend, sitting on your butt doing nothing and finally grow up and act like a responsible adult. However, this is not the time that some people choose to grow up...some wait just a little longer...and that's ok...so long as your spouse can handle it...

But then a little one comes along. You're now completely responsible for another human being. That child depends on you for everything...for it's emotional, physical, psychological well-being. Now, my friends, is the time to grow up. To continue to stay in your immature state, acting as though you were still in college is not only irresponsible, but detrimental to your child. For one thing, your rebellious, lazy or promiscuous attitudes and actions can directly inhibit your ability to physically care for your child. You may get drunk and say or do things to your child, or in front of your child that you would never have said sober. You may treat your spouse poorly and your child has to witness it. Or you may just make bad decision after bad decision and set a horrible example for you child. All of these things will impact your child. They will shape the way that child views himself, his family, you, your spouse, his faith, substances, choices, responsibility, finances, etc. Don't think your child isn't watching. Even when they're small, they can sense when things aren't right...and it affects them. Once you hit this point in life, it's time to join the ranks of the rest of us and grow up. You had your fun. It's time to grow up and be a responsible, productive member of society.

Some of us won't. Some of us will continue to destroy ourselves and our families. We'll have relationships we shouldn't, do things we shouldn't, be lazy and take an entitlement approach to life. We'll put down our spouses, be controlling, selfish, ungrateful, jealous, and consumed with throwing off responsibilty rather than embracing it. But that isn't the kind of legacy you want to leave for your children is it?

People are afraid of growing up. It's like taboo. In turn, people are often afraid of these points in life where you are expected to grow up, such as getting married or having children. Growing up is not a bad thing. Personally, I couldn't be more glad to be done with my crazy years. Sure, there are perks to being single and having no responsibility, but I wouldn't go back to being single for anything. The love, respect, security is irreplaceable. And yes, it's a lot more responsiblity to grow up in order to better raise your child, but you get the satisfaction of knowing you're giving the one you love more than anything, the best shot at being everything they want to be, without the emotional or behavioral baggage to hold them back. You're raising your child to have healthy relationships, to respect other people, to take responsibility for your actions. And also, you are able to make a difference in the world around you because you aren't so focused on yourself. Because, let's face it, the college lifestyle is nearly completely selfish. It's about us. It's about doing what we want to do when we want to do it. It doesn't particularly matter to most of us whether we're shaming our families, disrespecting other people, or breaking the law. The world seems to revolve around us...but that just isn't the best way to live. We are put on earth for a purpose, and only when you get over yourself and your childish "wants" can you realize what that is, and be capable of doing it.

So for all of those (most of you reading this) who have grown up, don't see it as a bad thing. Embrace it for all it is instead of longing for the days when you lived as if you were the only person who mattered. Take a moment to look at your spouse and be thankful for the sacrifices they were and are willing to make for you. Look at your child and be thankful that you're doing the very best you can for that precious little one.

And if you are one of the few who are still lagging behind, take a look at your family. Try to see down the road, when the consequences of your actions become visible. Think of how badly it will hurt your spouse to find out you've been unfaithful. How hard it will be to have nothing because of your laziness. How lost you will feel when after years of you doing nothing and having no respect, your spouse calls it quits and leaves you with nothing. How hard it will be to try to encourage your child to make good decisions, when they saw you making bad ones. Everything you do matters now. There are no wasted moments. They either impact your life for good or for bad...it's time to grow up and lead the amazing life that you're called to.

So...what do you do?

Before we were even married, Ward and I had agreed that when we had children, I would stay home with them. Both of our mothers stayed home with us until we were in school and we wanted the same for our babies. Ward had a good job with great job security, so we felt like we could plan on that. I had no problem whatsoever with staying home because I felt like it was an important job.

I was already in college when we got married, and it was also important to both of us for me to finish my degree. After we were married, I threw myself into my school work, doing my very best work and continually being complimented by professors and given the names of prominant companies I could work for after graduation. I could taste the success. It was nice putting in all this hard work and seeing the finish line when it would all pay off. Then, my very last semester of school, I got pregnant. I didn't really have time to think about what I would do about a job, because we lost the baby at 8 weeks. But only a month later, I was pregnant again. We were so excited and scared and just absolutely thrilled.

But as I worked my butt off to finish up my senior projects to complete my degree, the thought of staying home was suddenly not quite as appealing. I'd worked so hard. I'd done so much work, put in my four years...I was qualified to go out there and get a good job...to make pretty decent money, to feel like I was productive- a success.

It wasn't hard to make the decision to stay at home before I spent four years of my life in training for a career that now I would not be pursuing. I began to realize that this was not an easy decision anymore. I loved my son, more than anything...but....I worked soooo hard. I loved my work, I loved PR.

In the end, I made the decision to stay at home and raise my little boy. There is no job I can do that would be more important. And I am fortunate to be able to work, both as a writer and as the founder of a non-profit, from home. My days are ridiculously crazy. But I've never had to feel like my child is taking a back seat. He is, and always has been, my top priority. I now have a unique view on the working vs. stay-at-home mom controversy. And I don't really think there's a right or wrong way to do it. Both are most definately appealing. And it was difficult to make the decision that I did...but it was worth it.

However, it's very interesting to see how the outside world views a mother's job. I can never believe how many people come up to me, holding my son, and say "and so what do you do?" My jaw drops and I look at them like they're from mars...and my inner brat smarts off "oh...well...i stay in bed until about noon, then i sit on my butt in front of the TV watching soaps and eating bonbons until my husband gets home."

MY GOSH! I have a husband and a 9 month old son, an extremely large dog and a cat! I also have a home to run. And that's without including the fact that I work from home and run a non-profit. My day, starts about 6 am. Over the course of the day, I have to clean our home, play with the dog, spend hours with my son, teach him everything he needs to know, make sure we have enough groceries, clean clothes, and money in the bank. I pay bills and balance checkbooks, file papers and mail letters. I keep pictures posted online with updates so our families can watch Kai grow up. I work, researching, writing. I'm currently compiling a cookbook for our non-profit(and running ridiculously behind). I have to make sure that my walk with the Lord doesn't suffer under the hustle and bustle of the rest of my day. I'm a wife who thinks it's incredibly important to have quality time with my husband every day. I have to cook two dinners, one for Kai, one for us, because now that he's feeding himself I don't want him to eat everything out of a jar...but he's not quite old enough to eat our food. I have to make sure Kai has baths, clean clothes, has been read to and gets plenty of attention and knows how much he is loved. I have to make sure that I'm taking care of myself, by exercising and looking nice every day, so that I'm setting a good example for my son and because I can't be a good mommy if I don't feel good. It's amazing how much you can squeeze into 24 hours...and when I collapse into bed about midnight I'm completely exhausted. Being a stay-at-home mom is not exactly a cake walk people. And I'd love to just spit on the next person who asks me "what I do." Oh...and let's add "answers stupid questions" to the list of things I do shall we?

Then there's the precious people who DO understand. Who Do see all the things that we do and quite frankly can't believe how we do it. A little old man stopped me in the grocery store today. He wanted to say hi to Kai and stopped to chat. A few minutes into our conversation he said "I don't know how you women do it."

"Do what?" I asked. "This." he said pointing to Kai..."And this..." pointing to my overflowing shopping cart..."And everything else." I told him I wasn't sure and that when I figured it out I'd let him know. Then he said "Well, I suppose you do it because you just don't have much choice, do you?" And he's right. If we didn't do it....who would? Our husbands who are working fulltime jobs too? Perhaps someone we hired who didn't love our child nearly as much as we did?

No...for all the work...all the sweat...all the planning and organization...it's all worth it. My family is my whole world and every moment of work that I do blesses them. And so I'll continue to do this awesome work...for the rest of my life. I love you guys!

the greatest things in life are free

I've spent the better part of the morning this morning sitting in the middle of my kitchen floor with my little boy. we explored cabinets and emptied the contents, turned bowls upside down and banged on them with wooden spoons, colored pictures for daddy and scattered all of mommy's cookie cutters to see all the cool shape (he especially liked the dinosaur). normally, i hate to make a mess in my house. but i didn't even care how much work it would be to clean it up. it was one of the most fun mornings i've had in a long time. we just spent hours together, exploring and learning and just playing. sure, the kitchen is trashed...and i have a lot of dishes to wash now, but i don't mind. moments like that with my baby boy are irreplaceable and something i'll get to cherish forever. it is true...the greatest things in life are free.

before i was a mom...

♥ Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. ♥
♥ I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
♥ I never thought about immunizations. ♥
♥ Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on. ♥
♥ Pooped on. ♥
♥ Chewed on. ♥
♥ Peed on. ♥
♥ I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. ♥
♥ I slept all night. ♥
♥ Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. ♥
♥ Or give shots. ♥
♥ I never looked into teary eyes and cried. ♥
♥ I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. ♥
♥ I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep. ♥
♥ Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put them down.♥
♥ I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. ♥
♥ I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. ♥
♥ I never knew that I could love someone so much. ♥
♥ I never knew I would love being a Mom. ♥
♥ Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. ♥
♥ I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. ♥
♥ I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. ♥
♥ I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy. ♥
♥ Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. ♥
♥ I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. ♥
♥ I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom. ♥


Not all of these are exactly true in my case...I babysat very frequently when I was younger and experienced many of the "nastier" things mentioned in this poem. I haven't lost a ton of sleep at night since he's been born...only when I was pregnant- I could never sleep when I was pregnant. And I knew I would love being a mom. Ward always told me, even back in high school, that I was made to be a mom. And I'm certainly not a perfect mom, but it is definately the most fulfilling thing I've ever done. That little guy is my whole world. I can't wait to see his adorable smiling face in the mornings. I love watching him shove cherrios in his mouth. It makes me giggle when he blows raspberries at daddy or crawls on the dog. He makes me so proud when he accomplishes something new. There's nothing in the world I'd rather do than to be a mom. It's one of the many things that no one can truely understand until they've experienced it. I have been known to cry when I see his big crocodile tears when he doesn't feel good. I've been known to spend way too much money on toys, books and clothes. But he's just so perfect. He's so sweet and innocent and just precious. His daddy is the only one who I could ever love more. God's gifts are so good.