Well, as most of you know, Korbin had plans far different than the doctors did and decided that instead of coming two weeks after my last post, he would come two DAYS later. Long story short, my water broke Thursday night, the fourth and we didn't know it due to the previa. They found it at my Friday doctor appointment. We left the office a little before 3 in the after noon and Korbin was already here at 5:37 pm weighing 4 lbs 15 oz. He was only 34 weeks gestation, so we've been in the NICU ever since. We're hoping to be going home tomorrow or Wednesday. If you'd like to see our entire journey through the past two weeks you can go to Korbin's CaringBridge site.
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/korbinschweitzer
We are so thankful for our sweet little miracle.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Two more weeks...
Thank you all so much for the sweet birthday wishes and prayers for us today. My babies and my momma made my birthday special. The kids made me a banner, complete with balloons and Kaytie baked me my favorite kind of cake.
Unfortunately, we got worse news than we were expecting today. First we went to the high risk doctor for an ultrasound. After finishing up the ultrasound, the tech went to get the doctor. He came back in and looked a bit more himself. He was very kind, but didn't sugar coat anything.
It appears that the placenta has grown into the uterus, through it and is at least on the bladder, possibly attached to the bladder. He said that the last lady he saw that looked like this spent "quite awhile" in the ICU. I told him that the doctor had ordered 6 units of blood and he actually laughed. He said that it would be really good to only use 6 units, but that I had 5 liters in my body, so we should be prepared for it to be more.
I think Ward and I are on information overload. I'll try to explain the basic plan. Korbin's fluid levels were on the low side, so I'll be monitored frequently at the high risk office until I deliver. They'll do non stress tests and ultrasounds to check fluid levels at each appointment. I go back Friday for my first one of those.
I'm on "modified" bedrest for the next two weeks. I can still do basic things, but no extensive walking and I'm supposed to spend most of my time sitting on my rear and living "an extremely sedentary lifestyle." We'll know tomorrow exactly what time the c-section will take place but it will most likely be August 17th at 36 weeks. The high risk doctor said there was no need to do an amniocentesis to check to see if he was mature because it just didn't matter. He said "if we make it to 36 weeks, there's no point in trying to be valiant, we just need to get him out of there."
Tomorrow morning the OB and the high risk doctor will go over the MRI results. They'll consult with the GYN oncologist who will be assisting them with the delivery because- in the words of the doctor "they handle the surgeries no one else wants to do." They will also likely be assisted by a urologist who will reconstruct my bladder if need be. So they will decide tomorrow when they can all be there for the surgery and we'll know for sure what time to plan for.
I will be delivering at St. John's...which is disappointing, but the high risk doctor said this is as high risk as it gets- "this is life or death" and that we really needed to be somewhere where they could easily handle large transfusions and get specialists in as needed. I'll be delivered in the main surgery OR, instead of the OB OR, under general anestesia. The special care nurses and neonatologists will be there and will care for the baby when he's delivered. Then they'll come get Ward and let him stay with the baby.
It's almost 100% certain that they'll do a cesarean hysterectomy at that point. If the blood loss is not terribly extensive, they'll let me recover similarly to a regular cesarean, except that I won't be able to nurse for 24 hours until the anethesia is out of my system.
Obviously, this is not the news that we had hoped for. But we are thankful that we live in a day and age when we know this before I went into labor, in which case there's no chance me or Korbin would have survived. I'm thankful that I've been able to spend my pregnancy at home with my babies, which is nothing short of miraculous in and of itself. I'm thankful that we have access to such amazing medical professionals. I'm thankful that we've made it so far with the baby and that, although he will technically be premature, he'll hopefully be more than 5 lbs. when he's born and will be healthy. (He's 4 lbs. 13 oz. right now)
Two weeks from now my sweet little baby will be on the outside, safe and sound...and I could not be more thankful.
Unfortunately, we got worse news than we were expecting today. First we went to the high risk doctor for an ultrasound. After finishing up the ultrasound, the tech went to get the doctor. He came back in and looked a bit more himself. He was very kind, but didn't sugar coat anything.
It appears that the placenta has grown into the uterus, through it and is at least on the bladder, possibly attached to the bladder. He said that the last lady he saw that looked like this spent "quite awhile" in the ICU. I told him that the doctor had ordered 6 units of blood and he actually laughed. He said that it would be really good to only use 6 units, but that I had 5 liters in my body, so we should be prepared for it to be more.
I think Ward and I are on information overload. I'll try to explain the basic plan. Korbin's fluid levels were on the low side, so I'll be monitored frequently at the high risk office until I deliver. They'll do non stress tests and ultrasounds to check fluid levels at each appointment. I go back Friday for my first one of those.
I'm on "modified" bedrest for the next two weeks. I can still do basic things, but no extensive walking and I'm supposed to spend most of my time sitting on my rear and living "an extremely sedentary lifestyle." We'll know tomorrow exactly what time the c-section will take place but it will most likely be August 17th at 36 weeks. The high risk doctor said there was no need to do an amniocentesis to check to see if he was mature because it just didn't matter. He said "if we make it to 36 weeks, there's no point in trying to be valiant, we just need to get him out of there."
Tomorrow morning the OB and the high risk doctor will go over the MRI results. They'll consult with the GYN oncologist who will be assisting them with the delivery because- in the words of the doctor "they handle the surgeries no one else wants to do." They will also likely be assisted by a urologist who will reconstruct my bladder if need be. So they will decide tomorrow when they can all be there for the surgery and we'll know for sure what time to plan for.
I will be delivering at St. John's...which is disappointing, but the high risk doctor said this is as high risk as it gets- "this is life or death" and that we really needed to be somewhere where they could easily handle large transfusions and get specialists in as needed. I'll be delivered in the main surgery OR, instead of the OB OR, under general anestesia. The special care nurses and neonatologists will be there and will care for the baby when he's delivered. Then they'll come get Ward and let him stay with the baby.
It's almost 100% certain that they'll do a cesarean hysterectomy at that point. If the blood loss is not terribly extensive, they'll let me recover similarly to a regular cesarean, except that I won't be able to nurse for 24 hours until the anethesia is out of my system.
Obviously, this is not the news that we had hoped for. But we are thankful that we live in a day and age when we know this before I went into labor, in which case there's no chance me or Korbin would have survived. I'm thankful that I've been able to spend my pregnancy at home with my babies, which is nothing short of miraculous in and of itself. I'm thankful that we have access to such amazing medical professionals. I'm thankful that we've made it so far with the baby and that, although he will technically be premature, he'll hopefully be more than 5 lbs. when he's born and will be healthy. (He's 4 lbs. 13 oz. right now)
Two weeks from now my sweet little baby will be on the outside, safe and sound...and I could not be more thankful.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Sometimes it just helps to write...
It's August 2nd. When I was a little girl, this day was exciting because it was the day before my birthday. (I guess once you get to a certain age, birthdays just aren't as exciting anymore.) I would be anxiously awaiting tomorrow, probably wouldn't sleep- which could have been because I knew that my mommy or daddy would be making me a stack of delicious pancakes or something else wonderful for breakfast. ;)
I'm not all that excited about turning 27. Big deal. The weirdest thing is knowing that it was 7 years ago that Ward gave me a beautiful ring and asked me to be his wife. Hard to top that for a birthday. :) But today I'm a bundle of nerves anxiously awaiting tomorrow for a very different reason.
Tomorrow we head to the hospital for the tests that will decide quite possibly what the rest of our lives look like. I'm excited, of course, to see my little guy on ultrasound. I'm definately ready to have some "final plan" for this baby's birth. But tomorrow decides more than whether we meet this baby this week or three weeks from now. It also may decide whether or not we have a preemie baby or get to bring him home when he's born, whether or not we have a "normal" c-section, and possibly whether or not we ever have more children.
To say that I'm nervous is an understatement. I'm so ready for tomorrow to get here. It feels like all the what-ifs of the past few months have been building up to this and hopefully tomorrow we'll know the answers to some of those questions.
Honestly, I could care less that tomorrow I'll be another year older, but we're making a really big deal about my birthday this year, for the sake of the kids. It really is a perfect distraction for them. Kai especially has struggled a lot the past couple of weeks. He knows that mommy is not ok, but he doesn't understand why. He's terrified of leaving me. He doesn't even like me to go downstairs or to the bathroom without telling him how long I'll be gone. He told me today that "I think I just want mommy to be all better." That's rough.
I've tried not to think about the risks, about the "worst case scenario". I've tried really hard to stay positive and not allow myself to let my mind wander down the scarier paths. But honestly, no matter how hard you try, it's always this nagging little voice in the back of your mind.
Do I believe that everything will turn out alright...that my God is bigger than these problems...that he has a plan for everything regardless of whether it's what I want? Yes. Absolutely. But the fact of the matter is that we live in a fallen world, and the uncertainty and hurt are just facts of life. I don't know what will happen. I do know that within the next couple of weeks, it will all be over, one way or another. All could go perfectly, all could go horribly, or any number of scenarios in between. But it's almost over.
All I can do is pray for peace to handle whatever we're told tomorrow, for trust that what happens is what is supposed to happen, and for patience with my little ones as they try to make sense of what's going on. That and enjoy a big ole piece of cake for my birthday and spending time with my precious family- thankful for the 27 years of life that I've been given and the amazing people who have been a part of it.
I'm not all that excited about turning 27. Big deal. The weirdest thing is knowing that it was 7 years ago that Ward gave me a beautiful ring and asked me to be his wife. Hard to top that for a birthday. :) But today I'm a bundle of nerves anxiously awaiting tomorrow for a very different reason.
Tomorrow we head to the hospital for the tests that will decide quite possibly what the rest of our lives look like. I'm excited, of course, to see my little guy on ultrasound. I'm definately ready to have some "final plan" for this baby's birth. But tomorrow decides more than whether we meet this baby this week or three weeks from now. It also may decide whether or not we have a preemie baby or get to bring him home when he's born, whether or not we have a "normal" c-section, and possibly whether or not we ever have more children.
To say that I'm nervous is an understatement. I'm so ready for tomorrow to get here. It feels like all the what-ifs of the past few months have been building up to this and hopefully tomorrow we'll know the answers to some of those questions.
Honestly, I could care less that tomorrow I'll be another year older, but we're making a really big deal about my birthday this year, for the sake of the kids. It really is a perfect distraction for them. Kai especially has struggled a lot the past couple of weeks. He knows that mommy is not ok, but he doesn't understand why. He's terrified of leaving me. He doesn't even like me to go downstairs or to the bathroom without telling him how long I'll be gone. He told me today that "I think I just want mommy to be all better." That's rough.
I've tried not to think about the risks, about the "worst case scenario". I've tried really hard to stay positive and not allow myself to let my mind wander down the scarier paths. But honestly, no matter how hard you try, it's always this nagging little voice in the back of your mind.
Do I believe that everything will turn out alright...that my God is bigger than these problems...that he has a plan for everything regardless of whether it's what I want? Yes. Absolutely. But the fact of the matter is that we live in a fallen world, and the uncertainty and hurt are just facts of life. I don't know what will happen. I do know that within the next couple of weeks, it will all be over, one way or another. All could go perfectly, all could go horribly, or any number of scenarios in between. But it's almost over.
All I can do is pray for peace to handle whatever we're told tomorrow, for trust that what happens is what is supposed to happen, and for patience with my little ones as they try to make sense of what's going on. That and enjoy a big ole piece of cake for my birthday and spending time with my precious family- thankful for the 27 years of life that I've been given and the amazing people who have been a part of it.
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