So, we're still not through the nightmare that was this pregnancy. At my six week check up they became suspicious that perhaps the placenta had not come out cleanly after all. So today I went in for an ultrasound to see what was going on.
There is a large piece of what we're assuming is placenta. It still has a good deal of vascularity (blood flow) and could possibly be into the bladder. Don't ask me how you miss this when you're doing this surgery, but apparently they did. They would normally just do a regular D&C but they can't because they don't know if I will hemmorage upon removal. (basically the same worry we had the first time they tried to remove the placenta.)
So Friday at 2 I'll be going in for hysteroscopic d&c. They'll use a camera to see exactly what they're dealing with and will attempt to remove the placenta, but won't be aggressive in trying to remove it. They'll get as much as they can and then wait to see if they got it all. If not they'll put me on a medicine to attempt to kill the tissue. If they get in there and it's into the bladder or to deeply embeded, they'll do a hysterectomy.
So the amazing way that the placenta just "came out" after the birth was some kind of illusion. Now we're back to wondering what's going to happen and hoping I don't hemorrage during surgery. I'm trying to remain positive, but to be honest the whole situation is just really wearing on me. I know that there is a reason for everything and I want my response to be God-honoring, but frankly I'm just tired and I'm frustrated and I'm discouraged.
Thankfully, if the procedure goes as planned, it will only be an outpatient surgery and I will be fine immediately after. So just pray that all goes according to plan and they can remove this without any further complications. Thanks.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Korbin's Birth Story
Everything happened so very quickly when Korbin was born and I know there are so many unanswered questions about what happened so I'll try to tell the story as best I can. When we saw the high risk doctor on Wednesday, the 3rd, Korbin's fluid was on the low side of normal. The doctor didn't think there was any need to worry and thought we could just check weekly until our planned c-section at 36 weeks. However, low fluid levels made Ward and I nervous, since we nearly lost Kai that way. So the doctor said we should come back in two days for a non-stress test and fluid recheck.
On Thursday, my mother was staying with us and she, Ward and I watched a movie that night. As the movie went on I started having more and more pain in my lower abdomen. By the time the movie was over, I was in terrible pain. I knew his fluid levels were low and I know that it's painful to carry a baby with low fluid levels. But even for that, it seemed awfully painful. The pain was constant, so I knew it wasn't labor. I wasn't bleeding or leaking fluid and the baby was moving fine, so I took some Tylenol and went to bed.
The next morning I felt a bit better. The pain was just a bit achy now, so I figured he must have just been laying funny and had moved. I was still waiting to hear from the doctor when we were going to do the c-section, and when I called the office I was told that she had already left, and had taken my chart with her. That was a bit nerve-wracking.
Ward's mom arrived at about 12:00 to stay with the kids while my mom took me for our check-up. As we were leaving Kai was upset and I told him that we were just going to go listen to Korbin's heartbeat and take his picture and then I would be right back. He asked if Korbin was going to come out- I told him no. Little did I know.
We arrived at the high risk doctor's office at 1:30 and they immediately hooked me up to the monitors. I sat there talking to mom and fiddling with my phone for half an hour, thinking everything was just fine. Baby sounded great and we had no reason to worry. They moved us into an ultrasound room for a quick check on his fluid levels.
The tech came in and said it would only take a minute. Mom and I were talking about stopping to get ice cream on the way home. As soon as she began the ultrasound, everything changed. She began searching for pockets of fluid but there were none. She began looking more and more concerned. Finally she said, "I'm sorry sweetie, but this is a game-changer. I'm going to get Dr. Moore."
As we waited for the doctor I tried not to cry. At that point I didn't know how bad it was, just that I wouldn't be going home, and I had lied to my little boy. I was worried about the baby and worried about how I would explain to Kai what was going on. When the doctor arrived she began looking for fluid pockets as well. Nothing. When I told her about the pain I had the night before she checked and it was decided that my water had broken but because the cervix was blocked, it had erupted into the space between my placenta and uterus, which is what caused the pain.
At any rate the baby now had no fluid and had to be delivered. She told me to go straight to St. Johns and that she would talk to the OB and that they would deliver either that night or the next morning. I called Ward at work and told him what had happened. I didn't realize how fast everything was going to go.
Mom dropped me off at the doors at St. John's. I was so nervous as they got me registered and then took me to a room. I got a gown on and by the time I got into the bed the room was already full of people getting me ready. A nurse started an IV, while another asked all the registration questions, another had me sign paperwork for the baby, blood transfusion and hysterectomy. A NICU nurse came up to go over what would happen with Korbin when he was born. They asked if I wanted someone to come pray with me before they took me to surgery. Someone from anesthesia came to explain how they would give me multiple IVs and a line in my neck for the transfusion.
All I could think of was that I hadn't gotten to tell my babies goodbye. I was trying so hard to hold it together, but I knew there was a significant chance that I wouldn't see them again. Ward called them and I talked to them one last time. Telling them and my Daddy goodbye over the phone was the hardest thing I've ever done.
They wheeled me downstairs to surgery prep, since the surgery would be done in the main OR. Two anesthesiologists worked together to put in my IVs and arterial catheter in my arm that would measure my blood pressure with each heartbeat. The head of the anesthesia department was in charge of my care. I ended up with 6 IVs so they could administer blood products quickly. While they were getting all the lines started doctors and nurses were coming in to "meet" me before I went in. I had an OB nurse and a surgery nurse assigned to me. The GYN oncologist came into meet me, informing us that he was hoping to not have to do anything, but that the last lady he had seen like this he had to remove the entire top half of her bladder.
Everyone promised to take good care of me, but no one was promising that I was going to make it. I'm sure they had their own doubts. They started to take me back and I had to tell my mom and my husband goodbye. I knew they were terrified, but there was nothing that could be done at this point. They wheeled me into the OR. It was huge! There were so many people in there. Several nurses, someone with the surgery tools, a couple of NICU nurses, the neonatologist, the OB, the high risk dr, the oncologist, the anesthesiologists, residents, the blood people, I couldn't count how many. The bad thing was that they had to keep me awake for all the surgery prep. They couldn't put me out until they were ready to start because they had a matter of minutes to deliver the baby once the anesthesia entered my system.
Surgery prep wasn't fun. Dr. Morris, the high risk doctor held my hand through the entire thing and promised to stay right with me until I fell asleep. If he needed to get something with the hand I was holding he would switch hands, but he never let go of me. As I was laying there God and I were in deep conversation. I felt peace and knew that either way I would open my eyes happy. Hanging on the wall in the OR was a picture of Jesus standing with surgeons as they operated. I knew that I was in the very best hands possible with these doctors, but even better hands ultimately.
I remember Dr. Arnold gently touching my throat and telling me I was going to sleep. When I opened my eyes, Dr. Arnold (the head anesthesiologist) was still beside me. He smiled at me and told me that the baby was fine, that they hadn't given me any blood and that I still had a uterus. I honestly didn't even know what to think. It didn't seem like it was even possible. I think I probably asked several people just to hear it again.
They brought Ward back to see me and he brought Sarah's camera so I could see pictures of Korbin. Unless you've had a situation you honestly thought you may not live through, I don't think it's possible to describe the feeling of seeing those you love most and knowing that you'll be there to share another day with them.
We had just lived the most amazing miracle...and every day is an absolute gift. We are so blessed.
On Thursday, my mother was staying with us and she, Ward and I watched a movie that night. As the movie went on I started having more and more pain in my lower abdomen. By the time the movie was over, I was in terrible pain. I knew his fluid levels were low and I know that it's painful to carry a baby with low fluid levels. But even for that, it seemed awfully painful. The pain was constant, so I knew it wasn't labor. I wasn't bleeding or leaking fluid and the baby was moving fine, so I took some Tylenol and went to bed.
The next morning I felt a bit better. The pain was just a bit achy now, so I figured he must have just been laying funny and had moved. I was still waiting to hear from the doctor when we were going to do the c-section, and when I called the office I was told that she had already left, and had taken my chart with her. That was a bit nerve-wracking.
Ward's mom arrived at about 12:00 to stay with the kids while my mom took me for our check-up. As we were leaving Kai was upset and I told him that we were just going to go listen to Korbin's heartbeat and take his picture and then I would be right back. He asked if Korbin was going to come out- I told him no. Little did I know.
We arrived at the high risk doctor's office at 1:30 and they immediately hooked me up to the monitors. I sat there talking to mom and fiddling with my phone for half an hour, thinking everything was just fine. Baby sounded great and we had no reason to worry. They moved us into an ultrasound room for a quick check on his fluid levels.
The tech came in and said it would only take a minute. Mom and I were talking about stopping to get ice cream on the way home. As soon as she began the ultrasound, everything changed. She began searching for pockets of fluid but there were none. She began looking more and more concerned. Finally she said, "I'm sorry sweetie, but this is a game-changer. I'm going to get Dr. Moore."
As we waited for the doctor I tried not to cry. At that point I didn't know how bad it was, just that I wouldn't be going home, and I had lied to my little boy. I was worried about the baby and worried about how I would explain to Kai what was going on. When the doctor arrived she began looking for fluid pockets as well. Nothing. When I told her about the pain I had the night before she checked and it was decided that my water had broken but because the cervix was blocked, it had erupted into the space between my placenta and uterus, which is what caused the pain.
At any rate the baby now had no fluid and had to be delivered. She told me to go straight to St. Johns and that she would talk to the OB and that they would deliver either that night or the next morning. I called Ward at work and told him what had happened. I didn't realize how fast everything was going to go.
Mom dropped me off at the doors at St. John's. I was so nervous as they got me registered and then took me to a room. I got a gown on and by the time I got into the bed the room was already full of people getting me ready. A nurse started an IV, while another asked all the registration questions, another had me sign paperwork for the baby, blood transfusion and hysterectomy. A NICU nurse came up to go over what would happen with Korbin when he was born. They asked if I wanted someone to come pray with me before they took me to surgery. Someone from anesthesia came to explain how they would give me multiple IVs and a line in my neck for the transfusion.
All I could think of was that I hadn't gotten to tell my babies goodbye. I was trying so hard to hold it together, but I knew there was a significant chance that I wouldn't see them again. Ward called them and I talked to them one last time. Telling them and my Daddy goodbye over the phone was the hardest thing I've ever done.
They wheeled me downstairs to surgery prep, since the surgery would be done in the main OR. Two anesthesiologists worked together to put in my IVs and arterial catheter in my arm that would measure my blood pressure with each heartbeat. The head of the anesthesia department was in charge of my care. I ended up with 6 IVs so they could administer blood products quickly. While they were getting all the lines started doctors and nurses were coming in to "meet" me before I went in. I had an OB nurse and a surgery nurse assigned to me. The GYN oncologist came into meet me, informing us that he was hoping to not have to do anything, but that the last lady he had seen like this he had to remove the entire top half of her bladder.
Everyone promised to take good care of me, but no one was promising that I was going to make it. I'm sure they had their own doubts. They started to take me back and I had to tell my mom and my husband goodbye. I knew they were terrified, but there was nothing that could be done at this point. They wheeled me into the OR. It was huge! There were so many people in there. Several nurses, someone with the surgery tools, a couple of NICU nurses, the neonatologist, the OB, the high risk dr, the oncologist, the anesthesiologists, residents, the blood people, I couldn't count how many. The bad thing was that they had to keep me awake for all the surgery prep. They couldn't put me out until they were ready to start because they had a matter of minutes to deliver the baby once the anesthesia entered my system.
Surgery prep wasn't fun. Dr. Morris, the high risk doctor held my hand through the entire thing and promised to stay right with me until I fell asleep. If he needed to get something with the hand I was holding he would switch hands, but he never let go of me. As I was laying there God and I were in deep conversation. I felt peace and knew that either way I would open my eyes happy. Hanging on the wall in the OR was a picture of Jesus standing with surgeons as they operated. I knew that I was in the very best hands possible with these doctors, but even better hands ultimately.
I remember Dr. Arnold gently touching my throat and telling me I was going to sleep. When I opened my eyes, Dr. Arnold (the head anesthesiologist) was still beside me. He smiled at me and told me that the baby was fine, that they hadn't given me any blood and that I still had a uterus. I honestly didn't even know what to think. It didn't seem like it was even possible. I think I probably asked several people just to hear it again.
They brought Ward back to see me and he brought Sarah's camera so I could see pictures of Korbin. Unless you've had a situation you honestly thought you may not live through, I don't think it's possible to describe the feeling of seeing those you love most and knowing that you'll be there to share another day with them.
We had just lived the most amazing miracle...and every day is an absolute gift. We are so blessed.
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