As we are surveying the seeming chaos around us, the state of the world we live in, and often the state of our immediate surroundings, we suddenly realize the magnitude of our calling and inadequacy sets in. It cripples us. We see the obstacles and think "I can't even get the kids to sit still and eat their dinner, I don't stand a chance in getting them to be productive citizens."
It makes it even worse when we see mothers around us struggling with issues with their children. Our hearts break as a rebellious teenager tramples the heart of a mother that we have admired. We think, "She's a wonderful mother! Far better than me! If her kids went astray, what chance do mine have?" And we worry and we stew and we want to bury our heads in the sand or throw our hands up and surrender the fight for our childrens' hearts because it is too hard and there is too great a chance for hurt.
Lately I have been blessed to have been given a different perspective on these things, and I'd like to share them with you. I recently purchased a book called "Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches." I've added it to my blog store if you'd like to purchase it. It only cost me $6 for the Kindle edition. It's not a very big book. It has very short chapters, easy to read when you just catch a couple of minutes in your day, and the encouragement is wonderful. I highly recommend it! The author of this book brought something to my attention that I had never before considered.
As mothers, and really as believers in general, we are called to bear good "fruit." When we think of the word fruit in Scripture we think of the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Our "fruit" is our offering to God. Our work that we do, day in and day out, completely committed to God. It's doing the very best that we can with what we've been given.
Often, our greatest problem with producing good fruit is that we become obsessed with what happens to that fruit. In "Loving the Little Years," the author explains that fruit trees produce fruit whether or not that fruit ever gets used for anything. It produces the fruit regardless of whether it will all fall to the ground, unappreciated, or if someone lovingly collects it and makes wonderful goodies from it. It's' job is to produce the fruit. Period. She states,
"It's kind of funny to think about, but God does not tell us to necessarily be strategic with our fruit. Will someone check on it every day? Harvest the best to make a pie? Or will there be a junior high kid sweating around among the yellow jackets trying to pick it all up- wishing we were not quite so bountiful? What happens to all of our fruit is not our problem. That doesn't mean we are not to care about the fruit. While it is on our branches, it is our life work. It is an offering to God, and we ought to care intensely about the quality of our fruit. But the branches are our responsiblity; the ground is not."
How freeing is that? God determines what happens to the fruit once it leaves our branches. We are simply to produce the best fruit possible. A fruit tree is judged by the fruit it produces. The fact that the fruit is left on the ground, or made into a cider instead of a pie has no bearing on whether or not the tree is a good tree. If you attempt a new homemaking or business venture and it doesn't go the way you think it should, that doesn't mean you failed. If you offered your best to God, you succeeded. What He, the owner of the tree, decides to do with that fruit is completely up to him. It was only our job to produce it.
In the same way, the things we watch our children struggle with, the horrible choices we see them make, are not our responsiblity. Our children are their own vine, their own tree. They are responsible for the fruit that they produce just as we are. And their fruit production has no bearing on the quality of our tree. We are simply required to faithfully commit to raise them the very best that we can, in a way that is God honoring...to train up a child in the way he should go. We are wrong to consider ourselves failures due to the shortcomings of others...even if those "others" are our children.
But even if some of our fruit isn't being used the way we had hoped, here's a little encouragement from the author of the book.
"But the chances are good that the more fruit you make the more fruit gets used. The more you throw yourself into heavy branches, the more inviting the fruit, and the more inviting the fruit, the more people it is likely to feed.
Some of those apples will fall to the ground and rot. But God uses rotten apples- to fertilize the ground, to start more apple trees after little animals plant them, and just to make the air smell sticky sweet. You cannot know the depth of His plan for your fruit. So throw it out there on the ground when you have no plan for its future. Waste it. Waste homemade pasta and the mess it makes on your family. Don't save cloth napkins for company only- sew a dress your daughter doesn't really need. Be bountiful with your fruit, and free with it. The only thing you can know for certain is that God will use it."
Now, this little life lesson was made even sweeter for me by our Sunday School class this week. Pastor John talked about how in the Psalms we are refered to as trees, planted by the streams, fed by the Law of the Lord. Only good trees produce good fruit. A withering tree produces nothing of value. So bury yourself in the Word, momma. It's your life-source and the only way you have any chance of producing the quality fruit that will feed the masses and be used by the Master. Take in the breath of God, and use it to create the most wonderful, bountiful fruit you can...then let go...and let God decide how he will use your fruit.
